Strength that Motherhood Gives

I think motherhood has a way of making one stronger. In all ways: physically (i discovered my biceps are bigger!), emotionally, mentally and of course spiritually. Mothers can't take medical leave because your kids need you everyday! When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I think I have become a stronger person in the last 1 year, all thanks to motherhood. I think God has a wonderful plan for mothers and a very special road for all mummies to take!
Anyway, Hannah is 13months now and is growing her 5th,6th and 7th tooth and I suspect her lower molars are erupting too! So she's been quite a grouch recently though I thank God she does not refuse food while teething. She is really affectionate and has learnt to plant kisses on our faces and that is really the ultimate heart-melter:)
May the Lord increase my strength daily and may I comprehend more of is love and grace as I continue to undertake such privileged a task as that of a mummy:)

Perfect Baby or Perfect Love?

I do not like it when my baby is being compared to someone else. I guess all parents don't too right? Yet at times like that, there seems to be a guilty inclination to want my baby to be "perfect". And this thought struck me one day: Am I supposed to strive for a perfect baby or to pray God help me love her with a love that works towards perfection?
The natural and human side of me tends to forget that what is good and right may be the latter.

"If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end."

(1 Corinthians 13:3-7 The Message Bible)

And may God help me love my child with the perfect love.

May I Be Found Faithful

Find Us Faithful

We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives

Chorus:
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift though all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find

I still remember the first time I heard and sang this song was all the way back in my uni days, as a young Christian. Recently, this song came back to my mind again. It never fails to remind me that in my walk with God, it's really about a race we are all running. And it's going to take faith and faithfulness to not just finish the race, but to finish it well. Sometimes, tiredness and discouragement sets in and we all need some encouragement. Someone once said that to receive encouragement means to receive courage. I like that. Yes, we all need courage to run this race well.
And my prayer is I will run this race well and may I be found faithful!

As I released the old group and lead a new one, I pray that I would have left a pleasing legacy to the older girls and start to create a new one for the younger girls. Faith to see more of God's glory!

Youth Youth Youth

Calling
Effectiveness
Availability

These 3 things stuck in my mind following Ps Khong's meeting with the Youthnet. It was very refreshing listening to him speak his heart about the youths. And a lot of realigning of my heart to God's heart for the youths. In my opinion, calling-wise, God will speak. Effectiveness-wise, my leader will evaluate. How about availability? It's the cap I must constantly lift for myself. I must be available to the extent the ministry demands and to the extent God wants me to. Not how I think I can be.
A dying to self will always be in this journey. But like what Ps Yo mentioned last night at G12 meeting. To fix our eyes on God's calling for us. I really pray that God will grant me strength and willingness for Him to use me again for His glory in this new ministry direction.
I really want to be available to the extent He wants me to be, for as long as the season He deems.
Lord, inite the fire in me for the next generation. Tutor me to be the leader you want me to be for them. Constantly remind me to pray more than what I can ever do, for prayer is of utmost importance.
I look forward!!

A Season to Let Go

I spent much of last night after cell reading through the cards that the gals gave me over the years. It's been almost 8 years since this cell group was first formed. I still remember the first few cells were held at the building above parkway Macs. After that we moved to the void deck near TC, my house when i got married, and then to expo and TCT. It's really hard to imagine life without this cell as most of them will move to adultnet with the new direction call for youthnet. Yes, the gals have all grown up.
It's going to take a time of getting used to no more meeting them weekly, the weekly smses, the buying of gifts in numbers of 12 or more etc. I will really miss the girls. Very very much.
But I choose to believe that all these is in God's control. I want to pray and bless those who are leaving that they will grow even more in the adultnet. For those who choose to stay, I pray I would have grown all these years to be a better leader to them, that we may impact and change the youths for God's glory. I choose to believe as I venture into Gkidz and new grounds, God will continue to use me to disciple new youths for His glory.
I serve a God who is faithful. He will never fail.
And this begins a season of letting go.

Her "firsts"

At 9 months old (1 day to go!), Hannah has achieved quite a few milestones! Her recent feats include
1. clapping hands! (thanks to daddy cool who trained her for almost 2 months!)
2. 2 front teeth!
3. Babbled her first word! And it's...MAMA! (haha, my reward!)
I can't quite put a word to it, but it's really a special thing to see Hannah going through her "firsts". And I thank God very much for His faithfulness in all these. It's wonderful to see her grow everyday!
Recently someone commented that maybe it's time to think about number 2! Hmm..of course I would like to have number 2 not too far down the road, but we would also like to pace it well too! Of course, we commit all these to the Lord in prayer and trust His perfect timing!
And talking about Hannah's "firsts", one prayer I pray everyday is I look forward to her encountering the Lord for the first time in a real way and it will be at a tender age.
It's truly exciting!

Teach Me to Number My Days

I realised there's a lot I can learn from Hannah. Today I was just reflecting on her ever bubbling enthusiasm and energy. She's always so energetic (sometimes we really run out of our breath trying to catch up with her!) and enthusiastic about everything! Every moment that she's awake, she's just wanting to explore and experience life to the fullest! (Oh no, did I scare away any potential babysitters when I write this?) Well, but the good news is our "Duracell Bunny" sleeps before 9pm every night for an average of 11hrs to recharge her batteries! (for another new day ahead!)
Facing her enthusiasm and zest for life, I am very reminded that I too, should return to the same zest for life. I wonder if it's a age thing for me (i'm not even 30 though!) for the mundane-ness that can set in at times. Sometimes, I think I can have more "life" for my life. So today, I am reminded of the Word of God from Psalms 90:12.

"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

Few ideas I catch:
1) There's a need for us to be TAUGHT to number our days. Because sometimes, it's not natural for us to do that as we live day after day. Letting each day pass by.

2) We need to NUMBER OUR DAYS ARIGHT. When we know that there's that fragility of life, we learn to then live purposefully.

3) When we learn to number our days, we can then gain WISDOM to live our days. To know what matters and to invest in that, and to know what to let go.

For me, as of now, I ask that the Lord teach me to live each day with purpose and zest. Now, who says God can't use a baby to teach?:)