My Heart is Full of Thanksgiving

Early pregnancy can be quite queasy at times. No, let me put it as VERY queasy. Nauseousness takes the top spot and that is the lead to many other things that I do not wish to elaborate. And these are not the point of focus here in this post :)

I want to thank God for many things:

1. For never letting go of His mighty Hand, which is very much on baby Ng's growth. Today I heard the heartbeat of baby Ng! at 113bpm! Amazing amazing. My prayer constantly is that this new life will always have a heart that beats for God and chases after God. I think praying for your child's spiritual growth and relationship with God is the best thing a mother can ever do.

2. For giving me favor from the people around me. Such love, understanding and support through this new journey Evan and I are taking. Thank You Lord.

3. For God and His unfailing love and attention. Why do I say that? Sometimes I wonder if the prayers I pray are too "small" or "trivial" for God's attention. But I believe that God's attention and love for us is far more than the prayers that we utter to Him. It's great to have a Heavenly Father whom I can run to no matter when and what.

Thank You God!

Yes! Baby Ng has reached the first milestone of forming a yolk sac along with the gestation sac! Last week when we went for the scan, all we could see was a blurry image. And God is so good! In the span of 1 week, the gestation sac if clearly formed and the yolk sac is formed inside too.

Well, I can't stop grinning when I saw the yolk sac because it is the first time Evan and I have seen it. In the first pregnancy, it was an empty gestation sac. Thank You Lord for giving baby Ng this first milestone. We are claiming and believing that the Lord will be the One to bring baby Ng to the next milestone of having a strong fetal heartbeat by our next visit!

And as we prayed for that, I was led to pray that baby Ng's heart will be one created for God. That it will be a heart that will beat strong for God and a heart that will follow hard after God, just like the heart of King David.

"... He testified concerning him: 'I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.'"
Acts 13:22

One word that God has been impressing upon my heart is that His Hand is upon this pregnancy and I am learning to place my trust in Him everyday.

Proclaiming the Hand of God upon this pregnancy everyday!

"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well."
Psalm 139:13-15

Of Prayer and Unhurried Time with God

Well, the nauseousness can get quite bad especially at night, but I hope this is a good sign of rapid development of the foetus! Well, been learning what it means not to pray in fear, but to pray by faith. I think that's a lot of difference when we step out in fear or faith in praying.

Well, for me, the greatest difference when praying by faith is when a prayer is offered up in faith, we learn to let go and trust that the Hearer of that prayer is in total control. Actually He is already in control anyway.

Well, the 1 hour with God everyday is good. And I am learning again what it truly means to spend unhurried time with God. Just reading His Word, slowly and chewing on it. Talking to God and sharing all that's in my heart to Him. Like what Ps Khong said, even if we don't know what to do in that 1 hour, then learn to just sit in the presence of God and enjoy Him all over again.

Lord, teach me to enjoy You all over again. Teach me to walk and stroll with you. To tarry with you.

How would I start the journey this time?

God answered our prayers! And I want to start this journey with faith, not fear. Though it's too early to see anything (the doctor said it's only 3 weeks), I asked God to help me to base my faith on Him, not what I can see or feel. And I know He has helped me grow much since the last time. I choose to place my trust in Him. To trust that He is in charge of everything and He reigns.

It's the start of a journey. And I really want us to start it with God right from Day 0!

Lord, I declare that You are Lord over our journey now! And that You teach me each day to trust in You more and more.

Lord, cause me to start this journey with You and trusting in You.

"How blessed is the man who has made the Lord His trust, and has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood." Psalm 40:4 (NASB, emphasis mine)

WAIT

God spoke to me in a quiet voice today.
He knows what I am waiting for.
At Israel, He told me one word. "Wait"
And He reminded me today that WAIT is...

With Assurance I Trust

Lord, cause me to trust You more as I wait.

COMMITMENT - Lesson from Skiing

In this week's sermon, Pastor Khong shared about commitment using skiing as an example. The key to skiing well is to always maintain a 90 degrees angle between your body and the skis. And this is no problem when you are skiing on flat ground because it is natural to stand straight. However the problem comes when you are skiing DOWNHILL. And this will require a skier to COMMIT himself to still maintain that 90 degress. To do that, he needs to LEAN FORWARD. And that is so scary! It's like plunging head on! But this is the secret to good skiing and preventing a nasty fall.

Similarly in God's kingdom, when things get rougher, when things start going downhill, the paradox is to still COMMIT and PROJECT FORWARD. It feels scary, but this is the way, God's way. May God teach us to commit ourselves daily to Him, in good times, and especially in challenging times.

Lord, tutor us to be committed disciples of You. And we trust we can be because of Your unfailing love for us :)

Hmm.. and may I get a chance to ski in my life!!! :)

And God Spoke

Yesterday's sermon was alikened to God placing two loudspeakers beside my ears and speaking to me. Loud and clear:) And I thank Him tremendously for it. It's always a joy to hear the voice of God. It is the thing that I need to hear, the factor that unties every knot in my heart, the light that shines through any murky ways.

Well God spoke about a few things:

1. To deny myself as a cell leader. This means more than just to deny the time for myself, the energy needed etc. It's about denying myself in this whole ministry. It's about focusing on Jesus as the focus and not myself. It's about bringing glory to Him in what I do in this ministry and never even about how I would look like. This gives me renewed freedom on leading the group, because I am reminded again it's not about me, but about Jesus!

2. God used Pastor Khong to tell me, "NEVER GIVE UP!" The ministry is a training ground for me. Never give up! Never give up! Point taken clearly. All back doors closed at the altar.

3. I gave up all the burdens of my heart with regards to the ministry, to God. Pastor mentioned that when our hearts are disturbed, we can still do the vision, but we have lost the faith. How apt... And we can then get distant from God and there is no sense of restedness and fresh love for God. So I had a good time giving up the burdens to God. I really want to serve Him with a new fervour and love.

4. Self-consciousness is a result of sin. Genesis 3:7. And this speaks to me because I do struggle with that. And I know God is teaching me to be more God-conscious rather than self-conscious. Indeed, there's no end to an attitude that's self-serving.

5. What does success look like in the ministry? Is it about more and more people joining the group, or everyone evangelising and all? It's more than that! Sucess is also there when issues and problems start surfacing. And I thank God that He trust me enough to be a vessel through which He can deal with the issues in the people's lives. May I be found a good steward.

Lord, teach me and cause me to FOCUS on You.

A to Z of praising God!

Had a good time with Evan just spending time with God together, worshipping Him and then sharing what are the A to Z of praising God! Refer to my cell blog www.knowhislove.blogspot.com for the entry regarding that. (by the way, that blog is updated more frequently!) I realised it is very important to praise God consciously even when we don't feel like doing so. Why? Because no matter what, He is still worthy of praise! And praise is a powerful weapon against the snares of the evil one. So i got to make a conscious effort to praise God everyday!

TODAY I PRAISE GOD FOR TEACHING ME TO PRAISE HIM ALL OVER AGAIN!